So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
