I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
