Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
