She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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