oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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