i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
