some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
