Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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