he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
