He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize