so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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