i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
