just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
