he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize