I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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