and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
