You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
