we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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