he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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