just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
