Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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