girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
