I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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