Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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