So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize