She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
