Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
