dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
