I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
