apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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