the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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