Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
