My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
