$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
