girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
