SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
