Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
