how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
