Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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