I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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