She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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