She is in my trunk
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I need moral support for this bender
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
