I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
