She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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