So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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