ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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