She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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