I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
