why didn't you poke me back
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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