That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
