Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize