if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
