my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I am one with the molecules
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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