do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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