maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
