he told me I talked like a deaf person
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Alive.
So much puke
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
