I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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