OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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