Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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