so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
