I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
