A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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