Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
