I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize