where am i from again
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
