I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
