She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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