He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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