Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
