It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize