Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
