Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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