What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You should frame my arrest warrant.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
