i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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