Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
