I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Still dying that you shit outside
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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